Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
