my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
