I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
