so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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