thus making me awesome and them whores
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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