the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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