i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
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I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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