So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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