Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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