OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
