the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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