new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
