Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize