i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
