ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize