hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize