Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
