he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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