I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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