Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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