i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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