one might say we're banned from that church
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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