So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
