Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
there is glitter all over my balls
that may or may not have been my penis.
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