i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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