Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
