I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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