He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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