Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I wish i was in the wii world.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
we should paint friendship bongs
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
