It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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