she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
