This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
