it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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