so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I enjoy the company of your penis
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
