How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
