Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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