when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You ate ashes out of my bong
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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