why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
