im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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