do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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