Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just found puke in my bra..
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
