im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
