The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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