i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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