you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the condom got lost in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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