Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
