I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
