Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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