But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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