She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
