I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
