I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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