Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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