I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
