i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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