She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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