So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
im on a boat
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