Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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