So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
