to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
