ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have feelings that need drinking.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
