good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
