you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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