Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
