what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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